the slow burn

Sometimes I close my eyes and only see the good times We’re walking on the beach, creating our monogram in shells Suddenly I realize it will never be like that again Lambkins and cabron and Mrs. S no longer exist! How does love stop, how can you even imagine being apart Explain it to my soul because I’ve never been fucked up like this before You lied And you abandoned the most precious thing you ever could have received All my fears forgotten, I thought you were my great protector “Can I name him M Jr.” you asked over and over My spirit wounded, I want to run away and hide All the desire in the world won’t lead you back to me We both know this is it And as I struggle to say goodbye – to you, to us, to part of me - To Nellie and Oliver, our little geek babies I pause, lost for words, and struggle to go on How do you say goodbye to the one you love How do you let go of the need to be in his arms Can’t imagine living life without, sensibility disappeared No tea with extra bubbles, ape man, or even The Apprentice You’ll think of me often, and I’ll do the same And if my real husband dies before me I’ll look you up when I’m super old